I don’t know about you, but I am often hit with memories of less than stellar choices, statements, outfits, etc. And cringey memories have a certain way of popping up right when you’re feeling pretty good about yourself. If allowed to fully manifest, they can completely derail your confidence! I’d like to teach you a skill to deal with this to reclaim your confidence, even when hit with the most embarrassing memories.

CBT skills can come in handy when this happens. The first step is stopping to notice the cringe and accepting that you are human. We have all done things that may have felt good at the time and later turn out to be very, very embarrassing. I, for one, have had more fads, phases, and regrettable soapbox moments than I can count. Simply acknowledging this can help. A phrase like, “I’m having a very human experience right now,” can help normalize what’s happening.

Next, try to redirect the mental and emotional energy you feel. Imagine a life in which you never took any chances and always played it safe. Just think of the beautiful, wild moments you would have missed along the way! Yes, you would definitely have fewer cringey memories, but are they not a natural consequence of a life lived with confidence? Exploring, rebelling, speaking up, and dressing with flair are all valid ways to explore your place in the world around you.

Instead of embarrassment, try to focus on cultivating a feeling of pride that you let yourself be unrestrained enough to experiment and to learn from life. Use affirmations around this idea with words that feel right to you. Practice saying them over and over and use images of yourself free and happy to support the emotional connection to the positive side of your explorative past.

And keep on living with courage, curiosity, and the confidence to step out of bounds sometimes!