Gratitude.
2020 has been an enormously challenging and heartbreaking year. In the midst of so much catastrophe, what can we possibly do to stay well? One thing you may be hearing a lot about this time of year is gratitude.
Research over the past decade has shown that practicing gratitude can help anyone feel more happy and content with their lives. More recent studies have also illustrated that gratitude is associated with positive mental health outcomes, like reducing depression symptoms, and can significantly boost the mental health benefits of counseling.
Practicing gratitude can be very simple, and it should ideally be practiced in a way that is meaningful and pleasant for you. One popular method is to write personal gratitude lists. Simply leave yourself a quiet moment to reflect and write down a few things that you are grateful for. To borrow a concept from Marie Kondo, anything you think of that “sparks joy” is something to be grateful for. As you consider the sources of your gratitude, you might notice a pleasant sensation in your mind or body. Allow yourself to be fully engulfed by that warm feeling of joy as you practice.
Gratitude letters are another useful practice which allows you to externalize your gratitude and pay it forward. Think of someone who you are grateful for who may not know exactly how much you value them. Write a letter to them expressing your thankfulness and the reasons you value them. It doesn’t have to be an epic or profound piece of writing, a simple note of thanks will do. If the note feels like something you’d like to share with the person, you can send it their way and know that you may have sparked a warm, joyful moment for the recipient of your gratitude. Some notes might feel better to hang on to, and you might look for other ways to express your thanks through acts of kindness or service to the other person. Let your intuition guide you in the best way to express your gratitude.
There are, however, some limitations to gratitude and common pitfalls to avoid. Researchers have found that people who overcommit to gratitude practice can end up feeling frustrated in the long-run, as the practice becomes just one more item on a long daily to-do list. There is also a risk of using gratitude as a way to avoid issues that need to be addressed or attempting to hold gratitude for elements of life that are truly unworthy of thanks. Essentially, gratitude cannot make problems go away, and it is not the right tool for every situation. Finally, while gratitude can help us feel humble in a good way, it should not be used to diminish our own contributions or leave us feeling indebted to others. It’s ok to be grateful for ourselves and to appreciate gifts from the outside world without eroding our self-worth.
Do you have other ways of practicing that have helped you cultivate a happier, more optimistic outlook? Let me know what has worked for you!
For more on gratitude, check out the source material I used for this post. Linked below!
How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain. Greater Good Magazine, June 6, 2017.
The Science of Gratitude. Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, May 2018.
Gratitude and Wellbeing: A Review and Theoretical Integration (Wood, Froh, & Geraghty). Clinical Psychology Review, 2010. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.005
How to Tell if Something Sparks Joy. Marie Kondo, 2016.
Five Ways Giving Thanks Can Backfire. Greater Good Magazine, April, 29, 2013.
