Boundaries

How are your boundaries today? If you don't know, it's worth asking yourself some simple questions:

🌈 Do you say yes to things you aren't really sure you want to do?

🌈 Do you go along with others even when you disagree?

🌈 Do you feel guilty speaking up about your needs and opinions?

🌈 Do you commit to obligations impulsively?

🌈 Do you have a clear sense of personal values that guide you?

🌈 Do you know what you want, both short term and long term?

🌈 Do you accept treatment from others that feels bad or upsetting to you?

Boundaries are great because they allow us to speak up for what we want and need...and even though it may be uncomfortable to ask for help or voice an opinion, wouldn't it feel good to get your needs met?

If you're struggling with boundaries, chances are you have compromised your own needs and opinions for the sake of others' comfort. You may not even know what you want or need anymore because you're not used to asking yourself those questions.

For example, if you *actually* don't care what you have for dinner and are comfortable going with the flow, that's ok! But it's worth checking in with yourself first, even on small decisions, to make sure you aren't silencing your own inner voice. If you don't know what you want, you will rarely get it.

Try this exercise: the next time someone asks you for a favor that you aren't sure you can/want to accommodate, instead of saying yes or no on the spot, ask for a little while to think about it and call them back. Ask yourself if you have the ability to help, if you want to help, and what values come into play. Make the decision that is best for you and in harmony with your values.

Working with a therapist can help you identify boundaries that need to be clarified or improved, and it can help you re-evaluate your needs, desires, and preferences.
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